** to project members of COMVIDA- I have a more detailed account of the day that I can share with you folks.
COMVIDA- day one of the workshop was filled with a lot of ice-breakers and activities to set the stage, establish ground rules, and safe spaces for the future sessions. There were moments of silence and discomfort, as well as those in which a future of group camaraderie seemed possible. One thing that we’ve talked about a lot in our class, but that really hit me again as I shared the space with the COMVIDA participants, is that we all carry a lot of different identities and experiences with us and that we need to be conscious of how these aspects play out in the communities we enter. There is a potential for a lot of distrust and tension within our specific COMVIDA circle. One of the biggest things that has been on my mind is entering this space as a white person, but to give you a better sense of the atmosphere, here are some of the other dynamics that play out on Mondays at COMVIDA: a white woman and black man from our class entering a space of primarily Latin@s, whether people were born in another country or in the U.S., the level of Spanish spoken (from fluent to none), gender differences (an extremely male dominated room), participants of COMVIDA needing to share the space with people they are rivals to/don’t get along with, levels of formal education … this list could continue on a lot longer..
I think that while it’s crucial for me to recognize these differences, it is important not to dwell on them to the extent that it prevents me from trying to get to know those around me or from sharing aspects of who I am. (I must recognize that this comment in itself implies privilege and that it is not just as easy as saying ‘let’s move past our differences.’ That indeed can be an ignorant thing to say, as some people are accepted for the ways they are different from others, yet some are cast-off for their identities. AKA it might be easier for someone who may identify with some of the following: white, male, heterosexual, from the U.S., college educated, etc. to say they want to look beyond differences, than it is for someone who doesn’t identify with these traits. The later may be constantly reminded by society of the ways they don’t fit in and because of our society’s structures also not given the same opportunities based on these factors. In addition, it is not to say that we should not talk about the ways we are treated differently, indeed that dialogue is needed, but that maybe there can be harm done but solely focusing on this and in tern ignoring our shared experiences). An example may help.. while trying to be aware of the weight my whiteness carries, I’ve at times caused more harm than good by allowing that to be my sole focus, instead of seeing things that are held in common by those I’m in community with. Despite different backgrounds, I do believe there is a space where these experiences can come together (say our third space .. ) right? One of my personal goals for attending the COMVIDA sessions is to work within this third space. Sometimes this means working creatively because society wants us to think that we are different, and to focus on the ways in which we should not get along. A beautiful moment for me this past week was when one of the young men from COMVIDA heard me speaking Spanish and then approached me to chat (in Spanish). In this process of trying to build trust, the fact that this young-man had given me the opportunity to chat and for us to learn a little bit about one another was important. Maybe some commonalities, like language, can be more obvious ways to connect. But in the process of trying to see more creatively our shared experiences maybe the fact that we are not from the same countries, same economic backgrounds, same experiences of race, sexual orientation, or religion do not need to be strictly limiting factors. Maybe we may find our commonalities to be our love for our communities, our willingness to be vulnerable, the fact that we both know what it feels like to make mistakes, that we are sometimes unsure of what to say . .
This third space is becoming a lot more important than I had previously realized. I’m not sure of how to work within it, nor am navigating it in any sort of graceful way, but I feel fortunate for the patience that has been given to me as I try to move through it . . .
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